La Familia Martin

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Funeral Arrangements Update.

For those who are interested in attending memorial services, they are still being finalized. For now, we do know the following:

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

10:00 AM - Private burial at Oak Creek Cemetery in Rockwood, TN (family and intimate friends)

5:00 PM - 6:00 PM - Receiving of friends at Fellowship Evangelical Free Church in Knoxville, TN

6:00 PM - Celebration of Life (for all) also at Fellowship Church

I will put more info as it becomes available. In the meantime, we appreciate the outpouring of love and support that you have given us. We welcome you to celebrate and remember our father with us.

If you so desire, we are suggesting donations to the church in lieu of flowers.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Another Milestone: 8 Months and 12 Days

Eight months and twelve days old and my baby just fell asleep for the first time with no rocking, nursing, or other careful effort. We lay down together in bed, he kicked the last of his energy out in the dark, gurgled and cooed…and fell peacefully to sleep. I am so content. And we have arrived at this moment with no tears from me or from him, no nights where he had to “cry it out” alone while I listened brokenhearted outside the door. No broken heart for him either, and no chance that he has felt abandoned or ignored in his journey to becoming a sleeper– not for one second.

Eight months seems a long time to “work” at teaching a baby to sleep, especially if you heed the direction of popular opinion. We happened to get a very energetic little guy, one that – from very early on – struggled in falling asleep. It was clear to me that he wasn’t trying to be difficult or manipulative when he would kick and struggle at naptime or bedtime and he didn’t want to stay up an hour later to keep me from my beauty rest (which, if you've seen me lately, you'll know I haven't had in a long time), he just simply didn’t know how to turn off his mind or his body. Oh geez, I have been there! And I’m sure you have as well – restless nights where you wish you had a switch for your brain and your body.

I firmly believe that just as we must learn to walk and crawl, to coordinate our hands and feet and voices, we must learn to sleep. Liam needed help with that – he truly did not know how to slow down, turn off, relax, and rest. And – let me tell you – he has just recently gotten the hang of it. All by himself (with all the gentle guidance, patience, and support his daddy and I could offer), when HE was ready (though, perhaps, not when we thought we were), at his own pace and in his own way. And it is marvelous! It is peaceful! And I am proud.

I am proud because I knew we could do it, knew he could do it. I knew he didn’t need to “self-soothe”. He is a baby for-crying-out-loud. He arrived quite helpless (like most babies do). He needed help learning to nurse properly, learning to sit up, to roll over, to clap… He can’t fix himself dinner, can’t pick out his own clothes, can’t walk by himself, okay – I confess – can’t even crawl by himself (he’s a late mover). Why in the world would I have expected him to be able to fall asleep by himself?! Not at one month, not at two months, not “by six months or else”, but when he was good and ready. And it is blissful.

Now, if I’ve learned anything in these eight months, it’s that nothing stays the same. Very few things are constant and it is possible that he may have days, weeks, and a month or two where he again struggles with sleeping. And that’s okay. I have so greatly enjoyed “helping” him to fall asleep this million times so far. I have not always done it joyfully, but I can truly say I am grateful and blessed for the opportunity. And, for now, I will relish in the two hours of productive time, twice each day he gives me when he naps alone, and the fifteen minutes we spend falling asleep each night, followed by more productive “me-time”…and finally, my favorite time of day, slipping into our cozy family bed with my two favorite guys in all the world. Heaven, I tell you, heaven.